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Monday, June 29,
2009
Important Recall
The
Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units
manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in
the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a
malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve,
resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent
units. This defect has been technically termed
"Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly
known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect,
is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to
correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, Jesus Christ, has most generously offered to
bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There
is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once
connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the
REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair
Technician, Jesus Christ, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus Christ will
replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E.
(Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on
the use of these fixes.
WARNING:
Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids
any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems
too numerous to list and will result in the human unit
being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on the
Father through Jesus Christ.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action
will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be
permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that
facility. Thank you for your attention!
- GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of
this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time
by 'Knee mail'.
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